" My Zen teacher used to say, 'Kind speech is not always kind'. Generally, of course, a gentle word or compliment is most conducive to serenity, goodwill, and waking up. But, just as you would not refuse to vaccinate your child because the procedure is painful, once in a while there's that fleeting moment when the kindest thing you can do for another is to utter a severe word or a sharp observation that may hurt momentarily. The child that's about to dash into a busy street may need to be told sharply to stop.
" (Steve Hagen -Buddhism Plain and simple )

I am not too sure I really agree with this. What about people who are passive aggressive, or borderline personality? They feel they are doing what "is best for you" by saying sharp, harsh words. However, the sting and cut hold longer than any outright negative fight.

I have had a handful of people like this in my life. There are even those who are so lost in their self righteous attempts they feel you are the one who is being borderline or passive aggressive. Those "friends", the ones who feel they have your best interest at heart, but in the end it's all about how they look in the outcome, are not friends at all. They're wolves in sheep's skin.


The pain that was left behind by these individuals, leave a constant ache in my heart and soul. Those who I looked up too, those who I leaned on, those who my son were close too, are the only one's who can wound the worst. So I disagree that even briefly that a negative comment, meant to snap like a rubber band but not leave a mortal wound like a knife, is innocent and alright. I believe that that sting from rubber on skin can last longer, and leave internally bleeding wounds.


With a world turning into more people concerned with only themselves, and those same people mowing through others without prevail, this can be long lasting to our brothers, sisters and kin. Think before you say something you feel is for 'the betterment of your neighbor." Put yourself into their shoes before you deem your worth more than theirs. That person could have had a day filled with others who are "Politely, but aggressively, trying to utter a severe word or sharp observation..." in their direction.


A person is fragile, and you don't want to be the one to mortally wound their soul.


This is even a reminder for me, as I have a friend who I think needs to hear the truth about her situation, but cannot justify or find it within myself to be harsh. Her situation is as harsh as it can get without me laying pressure on her shoulders like Atlas.

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"All conditioned phenomena, all beings, all places, are impermentent and changing."14th Dalai Lama