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Hey do you think its possible that this gray cat could be my animal guide? I've been seeing this thing an awful lot and it likes to hang out in my room and hang out by me. Grandma thought it could have followed her home from the Vet but that seems highly unlikely since it appeared later on. Today I seen it in my room cleaning itself, I looked at it, and it looked at me. Beautiful cat. A little bigger than our two cats. Shorter fur. I don't know though, I do use my abilities more in the family and I am the very first to use them in generation so wouldn't that be making me stronger each time I use them?

It seems to appear when I have panic attacks or when I'm sick. Like one time I was having an attack and I was sitting on the floor and I saw the cat under the dining room table staring at me. And then it came closer to me so I put my hand out and it got really cold. It would just sit there and watch me, and when I was getting better it would leave. If this cat is mine, what's its role?

So the last couple weeks have been about the physical world and nothing but the physical world but, that doesn't mean I stopped seeing Adam. I seen him today at school with me waiting for Grandma, and then he'll hang around at night. We haven't spoken since I got sick. Not a word from each other. Ok and I'm just laying some things down on this blog that have been on my mind for a quit awhile and I don't care what you think of it but I know what it is and I'm keeping it this way because I don't see any harm in this and Adam clearly said to me in the beginning that it was okay to feel this way towards him. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but if you don't like the way I feel about this guy whose been around me since God knows how long then don't bother trying to understand. Well you all should know he is my spirit guide, it took awhile to figure it out because of the way and time he came to me. Some stuff I knew from Adam telling me and some stuff I learned.

I'm not going to sit here and explain who Adam was because there was so much to know and Adam doesn't prefer me telling the whole world about his accident, its sad. What I will tell you is Adam was someone who wouldn't want to be messed with based on his size. People I'm talking build. Now compared to me this guy is huge! He is handsome though, I will throw that out. Although his size and looks may seem rough Adam was gentle and fun loving, when he needed to be. Adam lifted weights and has a four pack ha! stands to be 6 feet. I've heard his voice occasionally so you wouldn't mistake him as being a male.

Things Adam hates, profanity! when he was alive people feared him but also knew enough to respect him in his presence. He'd come down hard on those that didn't. Hence the reason why he gives me the 'hands on hips' and the 'wagging finger'

Adam is laid back most times and does his own thing but if I bug him enough I'll get on his playful side, who says a spirit can't play?! If they can move things why can't they play?! I'm not talking physically, duh! I'm talking energy. It's too bad he didn't quit smoking when he had the chance! The smell of Camels makes me gag! XD 

Me and Adam go back and forth with tease. I say one thing he says something even dumber. "That guinea pig looks mighty fine!" "Yeah in your dreams Adam!" "I'm dead sweet cheeks I don't dream" "Yeah thank the Lord for that one." "What?!" "Nothing!" LOL that was a conversation last month we had over a campfire in the back. Haha! Some of you may know Adam wears a red and black plaid coat with Jeans and brown work boots. He has brown short hair and eyes, a bit tannish. His features look mean. Gee. That sucks, I bet he scared all the girls away!

Adam can get me with a certain look too if he wanted too. If I did something he didn't like and I stood there and laughed he'd exchange a look that makes me cringe so I stop whatever I'm doing. Ha! No really I'm being serious. Adam is extremely protective of me and only does things for me unless I say its ok for him to do something. Manifesting into full body apparition is something he will only do for me and me alone. We're like best friends you know, and I'm glad I have him because he will literally sit there and understand where I'm coming from. He's better than a crumby therapist! Haha! He says we're like Twilight, but unless you understand me first you won't understand Adam.

......Fin

So most of you should know my mentor Mr. Schultz, he's actually the principal of my school! Ha! imagine that. I deleted my one blog of him because it was too short and not so detailed but I'm bored so I would like to write in honor of him! I've actually had essays nominated for him and did an excellent job! I will say though he can have his moments! So, I present a blog to you my friends on Mr. Schultz! If you don't understand something feel free to comment the correction or opinion!!

When I met Mr. Schultz when I was 13 in the seventh grade he was a lot tougher on me then than he is now because back in the middle school I was what you'd call "a disorganized hyperactive child" he was always on my back about things and man was he tough on me. When I was told to do something I'd do it without word or sarcasm. He was a supervisor then when I first met him. And then when it came time to transition over to the high school he'd have full access to me! In a good way!

He's taught me much more respect than I've taught myself before. He's taught me to be more open and honest about the consequences and actions I take and not blame others for my problems. On some levels he's a father. In some cases he will show love and compassion. And will horse play! That's how me and him bond. He has this phrase for me when I do something wrong, "Don't retaliate." When I get in trouble I hate being the one whose in the middle of the other two, and I get extremely mouthy and defiant with the one whose correcting my behavior. Schultz says if I learn to take words in and not block them out with profanity and negativity you may learn something from that mistake next time. I thought it was a hoax until I tried it and it worked!

Now everyone knows Miss me! mouthy, rebellious and wants her own way right? Well when you cross bounderies with this guy, Schultz; your asking for a load of lecture! believe me I've done it plenty enough times to realize he doesn't like being disrespected when he's trying to help you. Gee. "Miss Daughtry!" "I uh...sorry sir." "Thank you Megan, now move along," "Yes sir" it kills me to serve that kind of respect but he's my mentor and he's taught me well enough to know enough about respect and when and how to use it, I just have a problem of not using it correctly!

Ah, yes the eye contact! the wonderful world of non verbal communication. Yes, isn't it grand? Mr. Schultz highly expects this of me and will catch every little trick I try to pull (Banshee!) whether its looking down or fixating on things during a conversaton. He does a finger to eye motivation to pin point where he wants me to look. His eyes, Duh! "give me your eyes so I know we're connected." Ok so once he has my attention with his eyes there seems to be a problem of not keeping the eye contact very long. Maybe 5 seconds. You wouldn't want that in my case. He tends to go for atleast a minute showing him I'm understanding what's expected of me.

So when I do look away he stops talking and says "look at me" and continues on with what needs to be said. When I look away again, he'll calmly say it again until I get the point that, well look he obviously isn't going to let me get away with it! Smart guy! He's very intelligant and very wise in fact! He's really funny but smart when it comes to the problem of sarcasm. He beats the sarcasm with sarcasm. If I say something insulting he'll say something to make a period at the end. I stand there with this dumbfounded look on my face because I don't know what else to say! He beat me at my own game. Even when I'm involved in a small altercation and I say "Well he started it!" he always gets me with, "Well I'm ending it." I look at him in the eyes with an open mouth like, "What in the world!" he got me there too! He's funny also. He knows how to make me laugh! "Remember Megan when you step into that Panther paw you need to put a smile on." And it does! that phrase just makes me go nuts with laughter I don't know why! and then he'll go, "Ah! Thank you Miss Daughtry." it gets me everytime I don't know why ha!

Then there's that angry side of him where you don't wanna make him mad because he isn't game for tolerance at that given moment. I've had to sit in his office and tell him why I did what I did and that I was wrong. Yeah, he makes sure I make direct eye contact. He doesn't yell he just gets firm. Yelling gets you nowhere with me! haha! And yeah he knows I can see spirits but we don't talk about it. I would tell him if something was in the school that was bothering me but he doesn't take note of it. I let you guys take care of that haha!

He knows every single thing about me. Nothing has been left out, no pieces to the puzzle are missing! When I'm off my pills he turns his focus on me when he needs to, other than that he's hard to find and easy to catch in the halls. Ha!

Okay guys! While the bad news still exists good news may be that I won't need a revision. But I'll need a Shunt tap to test the pressure on the brain. My nuerologist called back and said she looked at my scan and the ventricles are smaller in size because the shunt is "over working" itself and its causing damage thus, causing these non stop symptoms of: nausea headache dizziness memory loss gait disturbance etc. Ok so most of you who read my blog on the VP shunt know in hydrocephalus either the ventricles increase causing fluid build up on the brain, or stay the same. Normal size is what we want. Large ventricles is what we don't want. When the ventricles in the brain shrink it means the shunt has failed to work at its pace and it works so good that it literally fails. Hence the reason for the "small" ventricles. I may be fine one minute the next minute I show symptoms. But the symptoms seem to never end right now. I'm sitting here typing this with a headache and slight dizziness.

So the next step we do is wait for nuerosurgery to give us a heads up on what they want to do. Things are moving folks and I'm getting worse but at the sametime better!! I don't wanna take any pictures of me right now because I look too sickly and too "stoned" don't blame me its from the shunt! But if you want to see a happy picture of me smiling with a friend go to my facebook page! I look a bit tired in it but other than that in pretty good spirits. When a shunt malfunctions its a big deal because its your life your talking about. Its actually whats keeping you alive. If you see Steve can you tell him whats going on please?

Love you guys.

Megan

Aw man you guys guess what?! There's this abandon farm house about 100 years old down the road from us. I went there to get another EVP because the last time I dragged my Brother, and my Aunt (she loves going into abandon places) to be safe because the whole thing is stripped and wrecked inside and out. Now I was there way before I got my abilities. I just went there today and I was texting Lisa and just as I opened the door to the house I thought I heard footsteps coming down the stairs so I stopped and listened, of course they stopped but I pulled out my recorder and caught an amazing EVP, Adam didn't want me going there and he was pretty angry that I went anyways XD but the spirit of a male stated "Get out! You don't belong here!!" so I left the house in respect but turned to go near the barn and I was like five feet away when I started hearing some human like noises that literally made me jump so I took off and ran. Adam was leaning up against an oak tree waiting for me, this big expression on his face like "Megan you need to leave they don't want you here, PERIOD!" Well I touched the old tire swing on accident and immediately got a long and vivid image of a young boy with light brown hair. A female with orange hair wearing some kinda ugly dress holding a small baby. And a male wearing overalls and a straw hat. I took some snap shots of the house and you'll notice the tire swing in front. I was warned not to go alone but I just wanted to get another EVP and a snap shot, I left soon after I didn't stay. I was getting those dead people mad anyways.

Fin...::wolf howl::

So I finally got this new youth job at Family Dollar stacking and helping customers. But there's a catch to this ordinary society job. There's a dead guy in the place, he was an employee!! He has brown curly hair and looked oh so young, maybe 18 or 19 years old. I picked up the name "Ben" or "Benjamin" he kinda creeps me out though, the whole time I'd be working the kid would be staring at me!! I would acknowledge him but ignore him. And whenever I'd look back he'd be somewhere else in the store staring at me from a distance. I had a hunch the kid knew I could see him. He wore jeans and a red polo shirt like me, and he had a nametag on. But maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me because I hadn't eaten and my empathy abilities were kicked into high gear and I was dizzy there for awhile from the people but, I don't know he looked like a spirit to me. And that look on his face was so...unclear to me. He just kept staring at me and I had no choice but to ignore him, I knew the kid was there and I wanted to tell him so badly that I couldn't speak to him and tell him to move on but it was my job here guys...you understand right? People would think I was in the clouds or something. I gotta work there for the whole summer and I gotta see this kid everyday for 5 hours! It'll get frusterating for me because the kid wants to talk to me I just know it. You guys got any advice for me about this strange eager dead...kid? 

HOW IT REALLY STARTED

Unlike the movie, the story surrounded a young boy who was born June 1, 1935. He and his parents lived just outside Washington, D.C. in Cottage City, not far from Mount Rainier, Maryland. (Some sources claim a popular Mount Ranier location as the site of the boy’s home. The house at this location has been torn down and a dance studio is now on the site. The diary gives the Cottage City location, instead. I do not feel it appropriate to give the full address. However, since Catholics in the past identified themselves by their parishes, we might still call this the Mount Ranier Case. The boy converted to the Catholic faith and claimed St. James parish as his own in Mount Ranier.) The first signs of trouble started on January 15, 1949. He was thirteen years old. While his parents were out that evening, he and his grandmother heard a dripping sound in the house. It only lasted for a brief period and then a picture of Jesus on the wall began to shake as if something had bumped into it. When his parents had returned home, a definite scratching noise could be heard under the floorboards next to his grandmother’s bed. This sound of scratching was repeated each night from about 7:00 PM until midnight. Logically, the family figured that there must be a rodent problem. An exterminator was called. However, despite taking up the floorboards and wall panels to spread poison, the sound did not cease. Indeed, the disturbing noises became worse.

Some ten days afterwards the noises ceased and all believed the rodent to be dead. Nevertheless, the boy was under the impression that he could still hear the scratching noises. Three days later the sound became audible to the rest of the family again.

The exorcist writes: “When the sound became audible again, it was no longer in the upstairs bedroom but had moved downstairs to the boy’s bedroom. It was heard as the sound of squeaking shoes along the bed and was heard only at night when the boy went to bed. The squeaking sound continued for six nights, on the sixth night scratching again was audible.”

It appears that the invitation for this spiritual invasion was inadvertently initiated through a favorite aunt of the boy. She had died in St. Louis two weeks prior to the first registered phenomena. “It developed that the aunt of the boy and his parents had used a Ouija board, and this probably gave the devil his first entrance.” Many religious authorities are convinced that such a so-called toy actually offers an invitation to evil spirits. Aunt Tillie had been an enthusiast of spiritualism. Suspecting something supernatural in the sound of marching feet, the boy’s mother asked (according to the exorcist’s journal): “‘Is that you Aunt Tillie?’ She obtained no verbal reply and continued: (evidently aware of the methods employed by spiritualists) ‘If this is you, knock three times.’ There were waves of air striking the grandmother, mother and boy, and three distinct knocks were heard on the floor. The mother asked again: ‘If you are Tillie, tell me positively by knocking four times.’ Four distinct knocks were heard.”

As time went by, it became evident that strange occurrences and sounds seemed to follow the boy.

• “An orange and a pear flew across the entire room where he was standing.”
• “The kitchen table was upset without any movement on the boy’s part.”
• “Milk and food were thrown off the table and stove.”
• “The breadboard was thrown onto the floor.”
• “Outside the kitchen a coat on its hanger flew across the room.”
• “A Bible was thrown directly at the foot of the boy but did not injure him in any way.”
• “His desk at school moved about on the floor similar to the plate on an Ouija board.” This latter evidence of telekinesis forced the boy to quit school because of embarrassment.

Things became increasingly worse at home. “On one occasion the coverlet of the bed was pulled out from under the mattress and the edges stood up above the surface of the bed in a curled form as though held up with starch. When the bystanders touched the bedspread, the sides fell back to normal position.” It was also stated that “At first everybody, including the boy, took it as a kind of joke, but it became more than a joke.” Soon thereafter, “the word LOUIS was written in deep red on the boy’s ribs,” seeming to indicate that some invisible force desired that the boy travel to St. Louis where his favorite aunt lived.

THE LUTHERAN MINISTER

His mother called a minister of her faith, a local Lutheran pastor. He was dubious about the whole matter. Although suspicious of the chest message, written upside down as if self-inflicted, he requested that the family come to his home. What happened next struck him as defying any natural explanation. His offer to keep the boy over at his home was accepted. It was the 17th of February in 1949. At about 10:00 PM, they decided to go to bed. The room contained twin beds. After about ten minutes, the boy’s bed began to vibrate. The headboard was banging against the frame.

The minister reported: “It made a lot of racket. I thought he was shaking it but he was making no visible movement.” Seeking a practical remedy to the situation, he placed the boy in a large overstuffed chair and sat beside him. Slowly the chair began to tilt upon its side and the minister had to grab it before it fell over. The good pastor insisted that there was no way the boy could be pushing the chair over since his legs were thoroughly tucked beneath him. He then placed the boy on a scatter rug upon the floor. Certainly, this would resolve the matter for the night. But no, the rug “moved slowly until it got to the wall and then it stopped.” The poor clergyman was utterly befuddled. “I remember thinking he must be doing it himself but I realized later that would have been impossible. There was no movement of his body.” The boy was delivered home the next day. Because of his Protestant theology, the minister sought a natural explanation. Unable to come up with one, he categorized the whole incident under unknown forces.

FROM SHRINK TO WITCHDOCTOR TO PRIEST

A psychiatrist from Georgetown University was called in but refusing to believe in the phenomena he simply reported that the boy was normal but “somewhat high-strung”. The family complicated matters further by calling a spiritualist. However, his incantations for dispelling spirits failed. Indeed, the situation became graver.

Having a relative married to a Catholic, the boy’s mother described the situation to him. His response was “If what you say is true, then you should consult a priest.” The family called the nearby parish, St. James Catholic Church. The boy’s father made an appointment to talk to one of the priests. The clergyman gave him various sacramentals: holy water, blessed candles, and some recommended prayers. “Once when the mother had sprinkled the holy water around the room, she placed the bottle on a dresser and it was picked up by the spirit and smashed. When one of the candles was lighted, the flame shot up to the ceiling, and the candle was extinguished for fear that the house might be set on fire.” The suggested prayers seemed to make the phenomena worse. Deciding to call back the priest, the clergyman heard a great crashing sound. The mother of the boy told him that the telephone table she was using had broken into a hundred pieces.

This anxious situation refused to end and matters grew tenser. The priest, Fr. E. Albert Hughes, went to the chancellor of the archdiocese. He was warned to move slowly and not to leap to rash judgments. The young priest explained that he had done as much. After a meeting with the archbishop, Most Reverend Patrick A. O’Boyle, he was authorized to initiate the exorcisms. Fr. Hughes resisted, hoping that an older and more experienced man might be chosen instead. He “understood that this should be done by a very holy man because the devil is wont to expose the sins of the priest; so the Father went to Baltimore and made a general confession. But the devil is the father of lies, and there is a theological opinion that he is unable to reveal sins that have been forgiven.”

The archbishop insisted, the young priest had to offer the ritual. It would prove a terrible miscalculation. Between February 27 and March 4, the boy was moved to Georgetown University Hospital. A young man and altar server (George) who was known for his abilities in high school football was drafted by the priest to assist him. This young man is still with us and is a leader in the local Knights of Columbus today. He told me that he had a terrible struggle to hold the possessed boy down. That he could spit across the room with deadly accuracy. At one point he lost his patience and even slugged the other boy to keep him under control. He saw himself as the popular priest’s body guard. The priest made him go to confession and pledged him not to tell his mother and friends the details of the encounters. They tied the hands and feet of the boy to the bedposts. He reacted violently to the ritual. Loose items in the room crashed to the floor. The bed shook uncontrollably. Strenuously the large server sought to hold the bed down. The victim was a small boy and yet he possessed incredible strength. The priest warned his young assistant not to enter into dialogue with the boy, only to give the required responses to the ritual words of the priest. Strange words came forth from the restrained boy, supposedly Aramaic, a form of ancient Hebrew. Previously the boy had taunted the priest in Latin. Objects were thrown around the room. The boy growled like an inhuman animal. Then it happened. Somehow the boy had gotten a hand free of the restraints. He secretly tore through the heavy mattress and ripped out a metal spring. The server responded to the words uttered by Fr. Hughes in the ritual. At the conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer, the boy attacked the priest and tore a gash into the cleric’s arm from his shoulder to his wrist. Blood exploded over everything! The ritual prayer book was caked in the priest’s blood! He screamed out! The exorcism had ended in failure. The priest’s life was saved by the doctors and his arm had a long track of a hundred plus stitches. He would have lingering problems with the arm and it would visibly drag at the consecration during Masses.

As an interesting aside, the young server in this episode was struck in the eye by the afflicted boy. He would develop a black eye and it was joked that maybe the priest had socked him. When the priest mysteriously left the parish, only he knew the true reason. The good priest would need to recuperate from his terrible encounter and injury. After this event, colleagues of the priest say that Fr. Hughes was never quite the same. He became quieter. He was intensely reserved about what had happened. One remarked that it was as if he was a haunted man. He died in 1980.

The sources are clear about this next point. “Up to this time everything had been obsession, that is, exterior to the boy, but as soon as the exorcisms began, real possession began.”

THEY GO TO SAINT LOUIS

The boy expressed a desire to go to St. Louis, and since they had relatives they could visit there, the family left with the hope of leaving their troubles behind them. Unfortunately, the problem with the boy did not improve. “Different displays were witnessed by two aunts of the boy, four uncles and four cousins. The printing ‘No School’ was seen by four people. The swaying of the mattress, the upsetting of bedroom furniture and the scratching on the mattress were observed by the entire group . . . Phenomena indicated that the spirit was not the devil but the soul of deceased Tillie. The spirit confirmed again to all present that she was Tillie by moving a heavy bed two or three feet with not one of the bystanders near the bed.”

Again a priest was consulted from the closest Catholic parish. Fr. Raymond J. Bishop, S.J., a teacher at the university came to the house on March 9. He “blessed the entire house, and used a special blessing in the boy’s room and on his bed. A second-class relic of St. Margaret Mary was safety-pinned to the extreme border of the pillow. Shortly after the boy retired, the mattress on his bed began to move back and forth in the direction of the bed uprights. The boy lay perfectly still, and did not exert any physical effort. The movement in one direction did not exceed more than three inches; the action was intermittent and completely subsided after a period of approximately fifteen minutes.” The next day, similar things happened. The relic was thrown to the floor. “The safety pin was open but no human hand had touched the relic. The boy started up in fright when the relic was thrown down.”

EXORCISM & BAPTISM

The next day, Friday, March 11, the priest who would perform the exorcisms visited the family. Fr. Bishop had in turn contacted Fr. William S. Bowdern, S.J. from St. Francis Xavier Church. He was shaken by what he observed. He brought additional relics and a crucifix. “Shortly after the boy had retired at 11:00 PM, he called downstairs that he had been frightened by a strong force that had thrown some object against the mirror in his bedroom. With safety pin opened, the relic of St. Margaret Mary had been thrown against the mirror and the sound was like a pellet striking the glass. Another occurrence was a cross mark scratched on the boy’s left, outer forearm. The pain was similar to that produced by a scratch of a thorn. The cross remained evident for approximately forty-five minutes.” The family telephoned the priest in Washington, and after a few days, the priest in St. Louis brought the case to his archbishop (Archbishop Ritter) and was authorized to continue with the exorcisms.

The symptoms of possession seemed to get worse and not better with the new exorcism attempts beginning on March 16. “The seizures took place in the evening when the boy went to bed and would last from 8:OO to 12 Midnight or 1:00 AM, intermittently, and then the boy would go off into a perfectly normal sleep for nine or ten hours.” It was decided a few days later to recite the prayers earlier so that everyone could get more sleep. Nevertheless, the seizures were unabated and started about 9:00 at night and lasted until 2:00 or 3:00 AM.

Sometimes as many as ten people were required to hold the boy during seizures. He would tear the sheets and pillows to shreds, as well as the shirts and undershirts of those who restrained him. He was utterly wild, hitting and kicking. He even broke the nose of one of the assisting Jesuit students. One incident had him scratching the exorcist’s arm so badly that he could not lift it for a number of days.

“Coming out of a seizure he would complain of feeling very hot and would ask for a glass of water. After one of the seizures in the beginning, he said that the evil spirit seems to carry him down into a pit about two hundred feet deep where there were intense heat and vile evil spirits. In the beginning also he seemed to be in a long, dark cave with a tiny bit of light at the far end; as the exorcism progressed, the lighted end seemed to grow larger and larger, in one of the exorcisms, the spirit, in the body of the boy, pointed to one of the priests who were assisting and said: ‘What is the use of you being here; you will be with me in hell in 1957.’”

A few days passed. The boy asked to be baptized. It should be noted that his father had been baptized a Catholic and that some of his cousins in St. Louis were Catholics. Once consulted, the parents were agreeable. The boy was instructed and preparations were made to baptize him in church. “On the appointed morning he rose, took a shower, ate his usual breakfast and set out for the church in a car driven by his uncle. Just before reaching the church the boy grabbed his uncle by the neck and said: ‘You S.O.B., you think I am going to be baptized, but you are going to be fooled.’ The uncle was just able to seize the emergency brake and avert a collision by an inch. It was realized that to baptize the boy in the church would create a scene, so he was taken to the third floor of the rectory, which stands in back of the church but faces Lindell Boulevard. Every time he was asked: ‘Do you renounce Satan and all his works?’ he would go into a rage. Only after several hours of repetition was the boy able to reply: ‘I do renounce Satan and all his works.’ Then it required several more hours to get the water poured on the boy’s head.”

After the rite of initiation, things became calm and quiet for a couple days. However, then the demonic business started up again and worse than before. Some of the phenomenon was quite peculiar. “One was the amount of spittle that the boy could discharge: there would be half-a-pint at one time. At times he would ask for a glass of water and it would be given to him, although it was known what would happen. It would be spat back on the bystanders. While the priest read the exorcisms, two others would hold a towel in front of his face to protect his glasses, but it was useless; the spittle would go under the towel, over the towel or around the towel and strike directly on the priest’s glasses, and the boy’s eyes would be closed the whole time. Another phenomenon was excessive urination. During the seizures the boy would utter the vilest obscenities, curses, blasphemies and ribald songs, all in a high falsetto voice that was off key.” It is noted that at one stage, the exorcist had to protect himself with a pillow, for the boy’s head moved like a cobra, aiming non-stop with spittle for his face.

FIRST COMMUNION

The exorcist and the family returned to the Washington, D.C. area. The boy’s parents were at wits end and were suffering from sleep deprivation. Fr. Hughes tried to get the boy committed to a sanatorium or hospital in the Washington-Baltimore area, but none would take him. It was decided to take him to the Alexian Brothers Hospital in St. Louis. He was given instructions in preparation for his first communion. The hope was that receiving the Eucharist might bring the possession to an end. “When the time came, it was impossible to get the Host near his tongue, but finally, after several hours, they succeeded in placing it on his tongue and three times he spat it out. Eventually success was achieved. This was on April 2, the first Saturday of the month, a day dedicated to Our Lady of Fatima. The title was explained to the boy and he showed great interest. But the seizures continued.”

“WHAT IS YOUR NAME?”

During the exorcism, the priest asked for the first time its name. “What is your name and when will you depart?” The response was simply “Shut up, shut up.” Later, “in answer to the question of his name, the words, ‘Hell, Spirit,’ appeared in red letters on the boy’s chest. In reply to the question of departure, red numbers: 4, 8, 10, 16, some Roman numerals appeared on the boy’s body. He said: ‘I will not go until a certain word is pronounced and this boy will never say it.’ There also appeared a red arrow extending from the boy’s throat to the bottom of his abdomen, and it was thought that the spirit might go out by the way of urine, as has happened in some cases.”

An appendage to the diary tells us that “the boy would greet the priests with filthy, foul obscenities, fluently answer the exorcist’s questions in Latin, a language he had never studied.” One day the boy was sitting in bed reading about Our Lady of Fatima with the book on his knees when he was thrown into a seizure. He threw the book across the room. On another occasion, he was given a glass of milk and threw that across the room. On one of the final days, a Jesuit scholastic gave the boy a plate of chipped beef. He grabbed the plate, jumped to one side of the room, and threatened to brain anyone approaching him. While one assistant approached him from one side, the scholastic crawled under the bed to seize him. The boy threw and smashed the dish of food against the wall.

LIBERATION AT LAST

Despite hope that the possession would end during Holy Week, it continued through Easter Sunday with particularly violent seizures. The worst day of all was April 18, Easter Monday. The exorcist and his assistants were becoming completely discouraged.

“Suddenly, at 11:00 PM, a new voice was heard from the boy; a beautiful, rich, deep bass voice exclaimed: ‘Satan, Satan, go, now, now, now to the pit where you belong, in the name of DOMINUS (the Lord).’ That was the word and at that moment the boy felt a tearing sensation in his stomach, relaxed and lay perfectly quiet. He described what has happened. He saw a brilliant figure, visible from the waist up, clothed in a close-fitting white garment which had the appearance of scales; the hair was long and flowing in a wind; the right hand held something like a flaming sword or light pointing downward. It was St. Michael the Archangel. When he spoke, the evil spirit rebelled against going until the word ‘Dominus’ was spoken and at this moment the boy felt the tearing sensation in his stomach. Then at some distance down he saw some evil spirits standing at the mouth of a cave from which flames issued. Then the spirits reluctantly withdrew into the cave, the opening closed and across it appeared the word: ‘Spite.’ Thus the possession was ended.”

CLOSING REMARKS

The diary tells us that the exorcist and his assistants “observed some severe fasting, mindful of the admonition of Christ that some devils can be driven out only by prayer and fasting.” There had been at least twenty exorcisms performed. One Jesuit involved remarked: “Only by examining the record after possession was ended, was it possible to see the meaning of the replies (the red marks on the boy’s body). The numbers may have been the days on which certain spirits departed from the boy, if there were actually more than one in his body.”

The Jesuit priest, Fr. Bowdern, passed away in 1983 and his assistant and then scholastic, Fr. Walter Halloran died from cancer March 1, 2005. The young server who tried to help Fr. Hughes has desired to remain anonymous. An interesting side note, George (the server) tells me that when the boy returned to Washington, he could not remember the active possession episodes. The possessed man is still living and there has been no trouble since. He married and had a nice family. Life went on.

A FEW ADDENDUM NEWSPAPER CITATIONS

An aunt of the boy said in a New York Times article from August 1972: (Upon the boy’s visit to her home) “All of a sudden the mattress starts going, just raised up in the air, and down, up and down, and my sister hollered for me, . . . oh I tell you that mattress just raised both of us right up in the air . . . . I happened to have a table against the wall with a vase of flowers on it and I got out but as my nephew tried to leave, that table actually flew in front of the door and would not let him out . . . .” In the same article it quotes what a Jesuit priest confided to him, “I assure you, Gene — I saw this with my own eyes — the boy did not tear the Ritual book, he dissolved it! The book vaporized into confetti and fell in small pieces to the floor!”The staff writer Jeremiah O’Leary reported in the Evening Star that the boy spoke an unknown language that sounded similar to Hebrew. “A professor of Oriental languages from Catholic University was called in and he was shocked to discover the words coming from the boy’s mouth were in Aramaic, the language spoken in Palestine in Jesus’ day.”

I've decided to write more about me because you guys seem to want to understand me and some of you already take a full understanding of me. I want people to understand me and know what affects me and what doesn't. So to start off I'll tell you about my disorders that do take part in the way I act, think and feel.

Reactive attachment disorder - 

Reactive Attachment Disorder is a condition where individuals have difficulty forming loving, lasting intimate relationships. They do not trust anyone other than themselves to provide for their needs and safety. These individuals often fail to develop a conscience; do not feel empathy, and having genuine affection for people or pets is beyond their reach.

Children with reactive attachment disorder can be divided into four categories:

The Ambivalent Children –

• Are angry, defiant & can be violent.
• Will push affection away to keep control
• Are destructive both with their own belonging and others
• Are extremely difficult children to parent because they sabotage or destroy almost everything positive that happens to them.
• When they want something, they act very affectionate.
• Have few friends if any, although they will say they do, listing several acquaintances – keep friends only for a short time
• Lack the ability to give and receive love
• Lack empathy for others – often cruel to animals and other children.

The Anxious Children –

• Tend to be overly clingy, showing extreme separation anxiety when separated from their mothers.
• Incessantly chatters to control conversation
• Appear to be eager to please and are superficially compliant.
• Are often passive aggressive, constantly doing little things wrong, but never doing anything really bad, but frazzling the parents patience and control.
• Usually recover faster than those in the other categories

The Avoidance Children –

• Are often overlooked as they are very compliant, agreeable & superficially engaging,
• Lack depth to their emotions & functions – robotic like, not genuine or real in emotional engagement.
• Don’t enjoy being around others because they don't feel safe.
• Are Omnipotent – believing that they can care for all their own needs by themselves, and do not need others, especially their mothers.
• Are sullen and openly oppositional, but mostly in a passive aggressive way.

The Disorganized Children –

• Have highly disorganized behaviour and a bizarre showing a variety of symptoms.
• Hide anger deep inside, they are easier to deal with, harder to treat.
• May have atypical psychosis, bipolar disorder, and other neurological disorders.
• Often will have mental illness in the family history.
• Are excessively excitable (other RAD children are usually moody.)
• Are most difficult to treat in therapy because they have so many different problems and often require medication and out-of-home care.

Other Signs & Symptoms

Signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder in infants may include: weak crying response, rage, constant whining, sensitivity to touch and cuddling, poor suckling response and eye contact, and no reciprocal smile response.

Reactive Attachment Disorder Children may also have these symptoms: lack of conscience development, lack of eye contact except when lying, will not give or receive affection (hugs & kisses), no impulse control, abnormal eating patterns (gorging, hoarding, etc.), constantly making noise of some kind, pacing, and unusual speech patterns (mumbling, robotic, talking softly).

RAD can and has been misdiagnosed as Bipolar disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Anti-Social Personality Disorder and Conduct Disorder.

What Causes Reactive Attachment Disorder?

The bond between a child and mother/primary caregiver is essential during the first three years of life. Without this bonding the child will not have learned how to feel trust, love, compassion and empathy. These four survival skills are crucial to develop into a loving, caring child and adult. Fifty percent of our survival skills are learned during the first year, twenty-five percent during the second and the last twenty-five percent is learned from 3 years of age and on. Below is a list of circumstances that can prevent this necessary bond from forming.

• Abandonment, abuse, neglect in the first three years of life
• Maternal alcohol/drug use
• Lack of attunement between mother and child
• Young, or inexperienced mother with poor parenting skills
• Maternal ambivalence toward pregnancy

• Multiple primary caregivers/ foster care system
• Institutionalized – orphanage adoption
• Inconsistent/inadequate day care
• Separation from Birth Parents – death, divorce

• Genetic disposition
• Separation from birthmother due to hospitalization, incubator, etc which prohibit adequate touch
• Undiagnosed/Untreated painful illness (ear infections, colic, hernia, etc.)
• Birth Trauma/ Traumatic prenatal experience
• Mother with chronic depression

Not all these symptoms will be seen in me because of age and the level of maturity. I am self concious of the symptoms I see in myself and often try and work on them by myself. This disorder is a very cruel and negative disorder and cannot be treated with medications only by therapy and management of the disorder itself. People who parent RAD kids are often frusterated and confused, angry and sometimes depressed. Therapists working with the RAD child help the parents deal with the disorder and teach them methods to get by the disorder to make it easier to parent the child.

You will notice my personality and attitude are part of this disorder!! All RAD children act differently.

Attention Deficit Hyperactvity Disorder -

ADHD is a medical condition that affects how well someone can sit still, focus, and pay attention. People with ADHD have differences in the parts of their brains that control attention and activity. This means that they may have trouble focusing on certain tasks and subjects, or they may seem "wired," act impulsively, and get into trouble.

Symptoms and Signs of ADHD

Although ADHD begins in childhood, sometimes it's not diagnosed until a person is a teen — and occasionally not even until someone reaches adulthood.

Because ADHD is a broad category covering different things — attention, activity, and impulsivity — it can show up in different ways in different people. Some of the signs of ADHD are when someone:

• has difficulty paying attention or staying focused on a task or activity
• has problems finishing assignments at school or home and jumps from one activity to another
• has trouble focusing on instructions and difficulty following through
• loses or forgets things such as homework
• is easily distracted, even when doing something fun
• has problems paying close attention to details or makes careless mistakes
• has trouble organizing tasks and activities
• has difficulty waiting one's turn
• interrupts or intrudes on other people
• blurts out answers before questions have been completed
• fidgets with hands or feet or squirms about when seated
• feels restless
• talks excessively and has trouble engaging in activities quietly

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder that can develop following a traumatic event that threatens your safety or makes you feel helpless. Most people associate PTSD with battle-scarred soldiers – and military combat is the most common cause in men – but any overwhelming life experience can trigger PTSD, especially if the event is perceived as unpredictable and uncontrollable.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can affect those who personally experience the catastrophe, those who witness it, and those who pick up the pieces afterwards, including emergency workers and law enforcement officers. It can even occur in the friends or family members of those who went through the actual trauma.

Traumatic events that can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) include:

• War
• Rape
• Natural disasters
• A car or plane crash

• Kidnapping
• Violent assault
• Sexual or physical abuse
• Medical procedures (especially in kids)

PTSD is a response by normal people to an abnormal situation

The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. When your sense of safety and trust are shattered, it’s normal to feel crazy, disconnected, or numb – and most people do. The only difference between people who go on to develop PTSD and those who don’t is how they cope with the trauma.

After a traumatic experience, the mind and the body are in shock. But as you make sense of what happened and process your emotions, you come out of it. With post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however, you remain in psychological shock. Your memory of what happened and your feelings about it are disconnected. In order to move on, it’s important to face and feel your memories and emotions.

Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Following a traumatic event, almost everyone experiences at least some of the symptoms of PTSD. It’s very common to have bad dreams, feel fearful or numb, and find it difficult to stop thinking about what happened. But for most people, these symptoms are short-lived. They may last for several days or even weeks, but they gradually lift.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however, the symptoms don’t decrease. You don’t feel a little better each day. In fact, you may start to feel worse. But PTSD doesn’t always develop in the hours or days following a traumatic event, although this is most common. For some people, the symptoms of PTSD take weeks, months, or even years to develop.

The symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can arise suddenly, gradually, or come and go over time. Sometimes symptoms appear seemingly out of the blue. At other times, they are triggered by something that reminds you of the original traumatic event, such as a noise, an image, certain words, or a smell. While everyone experiences PTSD differently, there are three main types of symptoms, as listed below.

Re-experiencing the traumatic event

• Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
• Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
• Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
• Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
• Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)

PTSD symptoms of avoidance and emotional numbing

• Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
• Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
• Loss of interest in activities and life in general
• Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
• Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)

PTSD symptoms of increased arousal

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Irritability or outbursts of anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
• Feeling jumpy and easily startled

Other common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder

• Anger and irritability
• Guilt, shame, or self-blame
• Substance abuse
• Depression and hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings
• Feeling alienated and alone
• Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
• Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

Fetal Alcoholic Syndrome -

Alcohol (wine, beer, or liquor) is the leading known preventable cause of mental and physical birth defects in the United States.

When a woman drinks alcohol during pregnancy, she risks giving birth to a child who will pay the price — in mental and physical deficiencies — for his or her entire life.

Yet many pregnant women do drink alcohol. It's estimated that each year in the United States, 1 in every 750 infants is born with a pattern of physical, developmental, and functional problems referred to as fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), while another 40,000 are born with fetal alcohol effects (FAE).

Signs and Symptoms

If you adopted a child or consumed alcohol during pregnancy and are concerned that your child may have FAS, watch for characteristics of the syndrome, which include:

• low birth weight
• small head circumference
• failure to thrive
• developmental delay
• organ dysfunction
• facial abnormalities, including smaller eye openings, flattened cheekbones, and indistinct philtrum (an underdeveloped groove between the nose and the upper lip)
• epilepsy
• poor coordination/fine motor skills
• poor socialization skills, such as difficulty building and maintaining friendships and relating to groups
• lack of imagination or curiosity
• learning difficulties, including poor memory, inability to understand concepts such as time and money, poor language comprehension, poor problem-solving skills
• behavioral problems, including hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, social withdrawal, stubbornness, impulsiveness, and anxiety

Children with FAE display the same symptoms, but to a lesser degree.

Diagnosis and Long-Term Effects

Problems associated with FAS tend to intensify as children move into adulthood. These can include mental health problems, troubles with the law, and the inability to live independently.

Kids with FAE are frequently undiagnosed. This also applies to those with alcohol-related neurodevelopmental disorder (ARND), a recently recognized category of prenatal damage that refers to children who exhibit only the behavioral and emotional problems of FAS/FAE without any signs of developmental delay or physical growth deficiencies.

I am extremely blunt and sarcastic. I do have moderate tendancies to be wise and rude to others and think it's funny until I get into trouble. I usually speak my mind without thinking, if there's something on my mind even a comment I won't hesitate to crack it. Some of you (Banshee) have found that out quickly and call me on it which is the best thing you can do in my case. I am caring and throw my sympathy out if I really mean it. You will know I mean it by the words and expressions on my face. Looking for smiles or smirks on my face often tells you...I WAS JUST KIDDING!! You really need to know that about me. I've ran into some who think I was serious and make a fool out of themselves. For the most part I am nice and can choose different levels of what I call nice, sarcasm. I'm nice to one person, sarcastoc to the other. Based on my mood it all varies. Look for expressions, tones and eye contact. It's part of my mood. My mood greatly effects who I am. It's true, any person you run into who knows me will tell you this about me.

I am however self centered and the world revolves around me at times. I put others needs ahead of my own. Which often becomes an issue in social situatons. When I speak to someone I don't really know all that well I become alert, defensive and verbally hostile. I'm honest for the most part, lie when I need to save myself. I have friends but have a hard time keeping them. I have friends that are like me in different ways so I can keep a steady relationship with them.

Hopefully this'll help you peeps understand me a little more, if you don't well then your closed minded, if you know you are why bother reading this?!

Fin....

Does anybody know how I can manage my panic attacks? I get them often and their pretty nasty, they imitated asthma attacks! I get them spontaneously so I really don't know when one will come on. Sometimes they can be triggered so I must have the mixture type of panic attacks. And usually after the attack I get sad and depressed and my mind starts going through "flashbacks"

My chest hurts, and my lungs retract to my rib cage. I hyperventilate and the room gets dim from vasovagal syncope coming on. I sometimes collapse because I'm too weak to stand or walk. I grip things tightly and can't let go. I can't think straight and I get all confused.

Things that CAN trigger them sometimes are flashbacks from PTSD, strong spirits presence that I don't expect. Negative thoughts. Negative "day dreams"

I have medicine but I haven't thought of using it right when I go into an attack. I'm supposed to carry them around because there spontaneous attacks. It could also be triggered from my migraine disorder because I get so many in one day. And it could be from my sleep apnea.

Does anyone have any ideas on what I could do to make the attacks less "severe?" it helps if someone talks about another topic.

Fin

I contacted a dead celebrity, Heath Ledger!! Last night while I was talking with Lizzy. The guy seemed really playful and up beat. But he carried sadness and depression. I asked him a few questions and got great answers! He said working with Christian Bale rocked, and his favorite set he worked on was in the Dark Knight, in the beginning when the bad guys and the Joker (Ledger) rob Gotham City Bank. I never knew the history of his death until he showed me. He tells me he took pills. I asked why he took pills and he showed me a heart. I was confused.

He also said Christian Bale was a clown and a dunce on the sets of the Dark Knight. There apparently was a lot of joking around on the sets of the movie making. He says Christian is ticklish, he even asked me if I was ticklish! LOL, when I said yes, an image of a face popped up like: Oooh really?! LOL. This guy is full of humor. I wanted him to cross over, but he insisted on staying. He repeatingly said he couldn't cross over into the light.

I thought he had left at one point but I said his name again and he was still there. I'm not sure if he's stuck because of the way he died, or because he has an 11 year old Daughter whom he wants to watch grow up in spirit. I was never a fan until I contacted him. It seems his emotions are latching on to me, affecting me also. I can feel his pain, and his sadness. There was some background about him playing the role of the Joker in the Dark Knight.

I didn't know anything about the guy until I spoke to him last night.