In the recesses of our mind, Never to be forgotten
A Trip to Gettysburg PA. July 22, 2006
The Bed and Breakfast was said to be haunted.
This made the trip even more exciting.
In fact, we gave up a room with a Jacuzzi, in the newer section for a room in the original building that had ghosts instead.
I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who humors me.. lol
Anyway, the bathroom door locked on it's own, without anyone in there.
I guess the spirits just needed some privacy.
The unseasonable wreath that hung on the wall behind the bed, fell down without any help. I guess my imagination had the best of me after these events and my mind went to an image of a soldier with his rifle on his shoulder, as he turned the rifle knocked the wreath off of the wall. Another image that came to mind was that of a young man in the far left corner of our room. This soldier? was laying on a flat bed or piece of wood, under him was a bloody sheet.
These 
were just glimpses and didn't last more then a couple of seconds.
We decided to explore the area a bit and went for a drive. We came upon the Battlefield area, which was pretty empty. As we entered the gate the road ahead of us allowed such an amazing sight. A concentrated fog or cloud?, moved rapidly down the small street away from us further into the park. Almost beckoning us to come further into the park. 
Why are we so eager to experience this part of history?
It is not as though we romanticize the idea of such a mass depletion of life in 3 days, more so that we need to feel connected or perhaps understand the degree of passion that these men must have felt in order to be brave enough to give their lives standing up for something they believed in. 
The monuments were beautiful, as was the sky that day. Striking blue background with billowing white clouds, just gorgeous.
The feeling that I got on the battlefield was not that of dread or suffering, as some would say that they have experienced when visiting this park.
I guess the sky, the birds chirping the lush foliage made me feel at peace.
I think I chose to think of it as, all of the rain showers, snow, winds and the seasons that have passed since then, have washed the tragedy away.
Some rationalization skills huh? : ) 
That night we went on a ghost tour, cool stuff. Lots of orbs in the Pics and Bob caught some very active energy, orbs in motion. 
The next morning, another gorgeous day... we went to the National Cemetery.
As we passed the graves of the brave men of all of the various wars I felt so many things.
I was so proud of them and so sad at the same time.
Then we came upon the Civil War graves.. so many.
Each state had it's own head marker which listed the state name and the number of bodies.
Behind each head marker were the individual stones.
I saw some areas with rows of numbered little white bricks. Then more of the same.. rows and rows of numbered bricks. I saw the head marker for these stones and it indicated that the stones represented the unknown soldiers' bodies that were found. 
So many young men who gave their lives and so many that no one knows for sure who they were. Many emotions hit me at the same time but, the most pronounced was intense sadness.
I wished I could have been there for them in their final hours. To hold their hand and comfort them.
To tell them that it was going to be ok or to swear to them that I would convey their farewell messages to their loved ones.
I cried on that field,
cried like these young men were my sons. 
We kind of did the cemetery tour backwards because after our walk ended we came upon the Visitors Center.. opps! : ) Inside they had some great material on the Civil War. I picked up a sketch book of images depicting the battles... Like I needed a visual to go with my breakdown moments earlier.
These images displayed brave looking men, charging with all their might into battle. As I looked over the images I couldn't help but notice some of the shorter men in the images.
I realized that these weren't short men, they were boys.
Boys around 12 years old... their faces didn't have such a determined look as their older counter parts.
What I saw on their faces was the look of fear, yet they were right there fighting.
I wonder if they imagined that the War was going to be similar to their toy soldiers.
I pray that their suffering was brief.
So, as you can see Gettysburg had an effect on me.
I know I'm not the only one.
Tags: Spirit Ghost
When I was young, I was abused by my Mom. I had two brothers and a sister but, she targeted me. I know, it's sad and unpleasant but I had to write it because it is the lead to the story which I am about to tell you.
One winter day, my Mom was in one of her moods and again I was her target. But, you see at this point I was old enough to drive and had my own car. So, I got in my car and drove, headed to Ocean City. I just needed to think and Ocean City was my favorite place for that.
Bundled up I walked up onto the boardwalk. It was freezing out but, I was almost too numb to even notice. The boardwalk was abandoned, I mean what wackadoo would be out in the dead of winter.
I sat on a bench right near the music pier. I looked out at the ocean and pondered life, all the while feeling sorry for myself. The ocean always held such wonder for me. Powerful waves crashing against the sand. It always seemed to be able to help me put things into perspective.
All of a sudden there was a very fragile looking, elderly man standing next to me. I didn't see him walk up and I couldn't imagine why he would be out on such a cold day.
It was strange, I mean a young teenaged girl alone, I should have been afraid of him but, I wasn't. He talked to me and told me that I was a romantic. I asked him what he meant and he said that I come to the ocean to think about life and that's what a romantic would do. He then told me that years gone by, the great Kings would choose redheads for their ladies. (I'm a redhead). He handed me a shell and told me that it was rare. It was called "the boy in the boat shell". "Not many of them exist", he said. He told me to keep it.
Everything the man said, made me feel better about myself and made me think of something other then my problems at home.
Just as I didn't see him walk up to me... I don't remember him walking away either. He just wasn't there anymore.
Was he an angel who some how needed to take care of someone? Was he the spirit of someone who was also a romantic?
Several years later I went back to the exact spot that I told you about. My bench near the music pier. I sat on the bench which was now replaced with a newer model. Infact all of the benches were replaced and to help with the expense, people were able to purchase a memorial plaque to be attached to a bench.
So, on my bench was a plaque which read " To my Father who loved to spend his days watching the ocean"
Oh, and the shell, well, I still had it up until a few years ago. I have no idea where it is. My guess is that someone else needed it and it was passed along to them.
Tags: Spirit Angels
